OUTRIGHT WINNER-GARY McMAHON
Why is Golf like science-fiction? Because golfers want to believe the impossible is possible!
After reaching the half-way point in the campaign against the Evil Empire of Golf, the stress and strain of continuous battle was starting to show on some of the Revesby Jedi Knights, with many seeking inspiration and guidance by watching re-runs of “The Golf Fix” hologram on Foxtel, whilst others invested in new lightsabers and voodoo dolls 🙂
A steady supply of reinforcements saw thirty six (36) Jedi Knights arrive to do battle on the nearby moon of Bankstown. With no air to breath, limited room to manoeuvre and many life threatening obstacles to avoid, all Knights were busy renewing life insurance policies and/or last will and testaments, as a safeguard against The Phantom Menace lurking in their minds and an Attack of the Co-lones in their bellies 🙁
Moving to the 10th teleportation platform, Jedis boarded their respective group shuttle to commence battle at 0631 hours. Attack zone was Quadrant A for anal. Visibility was good and hopes were high for a successful incursion and safe extraction.
Unfortunately, Bankstown’s magnetic field and strong gravitational pull played havoc with many Jedis, particularly the experienced A-Grade Jedis of the Revesby Republican Army, with some reportedly sucked into a black hole, their swings never to be seen again 🙁
The hot lava flows and geysers will make life uncomfortable, with heat, humidity and fatigue draining the life force out of many towards the end of the campaign 🙁
Yes , the massacre of many elite Jedis in the 3rd campaign was by the Revenge of the Sith, with Darth Maul McMahon swinging from out of the trees to take the outright winners with a score of 67 nett (handicap 27). Started driving his lightsaber like a harvester, mauling many trees and native birds, but then applied telekinesis, clairvoyance, precognition and mind control on his balls to make them impervious to gravity and magnetism. May the Force be with you Gary 🙂
The Sith Lord Darth Sidius Vaughn secretly planned to blockade Bankstown’s terrain to give his alter ego, Captain Steve Vaughn, a pretence to overthrow and replace the other pretenders in A Grade. His plan worked, and with a clear passage through the lava flows of Bankstown, was able to take out the A Grade winner with a score of 68 nett (handicap 17) unscarred. When asked about his game plan and future intentions, the Supreme Chancellor of the Revesby Republic, sorry, I mean, the Captain, politely declined to comment. A deftly crafted win 🙂
The dreaded Sith Assassin, Darth Killer Zog-glue managed to stick to his game plan and take out the B Grade winner with a score of 69 nett (handicap 18). Take out each target simply and quickly and avoid collateral damage wherever possible, was his mantra. It goes without saying, assassinations get easier the more you do it – another win to Phil your quota 🙂
The C Grade winner was won by a player just hitting his straps with great timing, Darth Louis Ta-Seiko, with a score of 69 nett (handicap 22). His good form came from practising in bare feet, as it gave him better connection with the ground. When it was pointed out that he was wearing shoes today, he replied “What shoes, I just painted my feet to look like shoes”. What can I say, your performance was ten digits out of ten today 🙂
With every massacre, there is always a survivor. Out of the A Grade massacre came a survivor who is instantly recognisable by all, the Jedi Master Yoda Thorn, who came through today to take out the Guzzlers (on a count-back) with a fine 70 nett (handicap 6). Playing pennants for Hurstville the last couple of weeks, it was good to see the Master still in good form – well done Shane, you may yet save the Republic from the evil Empire 🙂
Sadly, there are scores that cannot be made to look good, even in science-fiction 🙁
The A Grade Bradman’s winner, Ryan Johnston, is now considering applying for a job with the U.S. Secret Service after taking the hit In the Line of Fire. There are many A Graders (names withheld by request from their respective psychiatrists) who narrowly escaped this honour today 🙁
John McDonald crashed and burned today to take out the C Grade Bradmans. After winning last week at Georges River with a 66 nett, who could imagine such a big dip – a depressing result 🙁
Big Noel Connolly grabbed the B Grade Bradmans like a veteran 🙁
Episode IV of Star Wars was called “A New Hope”. Let’s hope that’s the case next week 🙂
Noteworthy Highlights:
When a Pro golfer gets a bogey and follows it up with a birdie on the next hole, the commentators call it a bounce-back.
Well, Evan Gray must be made of rubber, because after scoring an eleven (11) on the par5 2nd hole, he followed it up with a birdie on the par3 3rd hole – well done rubber man, pity you couldn’t erase the 2nd hole 🙂
Revesby results on the day:
Outright Winner: Gary McMahon [27] 67 nett
A Grade Winner: Steve Vaughn [17] 68 nett
B Grade Winner: Phil Kilazoglou [18] 69 nett
C Grade Winner: Louis Tasaico [22] 69 nett
GUZZLERS CUP: Shane Thorn [6] 70 nett c/b
BRADMANS:
A Grade: Ryan Johnston [11] 96 nett
B Grade: Noel Connolly [19] 81 nett
C Grade: John McDonald [28] 92 nett
A
B
C
Nearest To Pins:
E.Gray(3), J.Hilder(7), G.McMahon(11), M.Campbell(13), P.Kilazoglou(15)
Drive & Pitch:
K.Little(5)
