29-NOV-2015: Bankstown GC – REVESBY V GOULBURN – Pigs Arse Cup

The “Pigs Arse” Challenge is a bi-annual event between Revesby Workers and Goulburn Workers, where the average stableford score for each club determines the winner. The custodian of the trophy, whose cheeky appearance aptly matches the event title, goes to the losing club 🙁

Today, fifteen (15) migrants from Goulburn Workers’ beached their landing boat on the distant shores of Bankstown Golf Course (some had fallen overboard in the journey).

With forged passports in hand and doctored Curriculum Vitae (CV) proving they had the requisite skills and experience to practice golf, the Goulburnaut’s objective was to infiltrate, assimilate and conquer before giving “The Pig’s Arse” to Revesby Workers’ Vigilante border patrol.

Fortunately, greater security measures were on hand when a large contingent of 26 Vigilante patrol guards from Revesby Workers’ arrived to ensure no break-out occurred. Armed with plentiful supply of the latest Srixon Batons, Titliest tear-gas projectiles and Bushnell Tasers, the Revesby Vigilantes were confident of curtailing any Goulburn attempt of a breakout win 🙂

Weather conditions were ideal with little to no wind when the patrols commenced at 6:18am from the yellow beacon on the 10th lookout post.

The training green was horrifically fast, so it was nerve wracking to find the course defences elevated to championship status (DEFCON 1) with arrival pins cut in quadrant “A”-nal location, and embarkation fairways and greens double-rolled and double-cut (double-gulp) 🙁

With no knowledge of the course, the Goulburnauts soon found out, to their detriment, that they must overcome the thick entanglement of trees straddling each fairway and the many hidden booby-traps of sand mines and water moats on their paths to glory 🙁

After 4 hours of constant surveillance, the tiring Revesby Vigilantes gathered the battling Goulburn migrants and towed them back to the clubhouse, with majority of combatants in need of urgent medical attention. Most casualties suffered from too many strokes or heartaches, with some suffering from depression due to iron-deficiency.

Miraculously, all responded very quickly to several intravenous Carlton drips followed by a tasty lunch of steak/schnitzel with chips and coleslaw 🙂

whilst the combatants recovered, the leaders of the Goulburnauts and Revesby Vigilantes were busy going through all the paper work to determine who gets the Pig’s Arse.

Analysis of the scores revealed the course was tough, particularly on the greens, with putting a problem for many. Oddly enough, the greens were well watered and more receptive to pitch shots than chip shots.

After repairing his abacus, Revesby’s Captain, Steve Vaughn, bellowed out the results:

The winner of the Pig’s Arse trophy with an average score of 29.66 was Goulburn Workers !!!

Revesby Workers’ average score of 31.27 earned them the right to hand back the trophy to its rightful owner 🙂
The Goulburn migrants were last seen sailing south in a bright orange boat with sextant in hand (and Pig’s Arse trophy as backup compass) – commiserations fellas, you fought like Jedi Knights, so may the Arse Be With You 🙂

Goulburn Workers may have succumbed on the day, however, this did not stop them from shooting some good scores. In particular, the winner and runner-up for Goulburn Workers were Ray Grant and Tom Hazelton with scores of 37 points and 36 points respectively. Fine first time effort fellas on such a demanding course.

On the other hand, Revesby had home-town advantage with the three highest scores all coming from A-graders. with 26 Revesby players, CCR was set to 4th best score or equal (36 points).

 

 

 

The most noteworthy round from Revesby came from a an unassuming member who is fast making an impact with his performance, its either black or white and nothing in between, his name is Evan Gray. With a super score of 42 points, Evan was head and shoulders above everyone today. What a difference a month makes, from the Bradmans at Campbelltown a month ago to the Outright winner today – top effort Evan 🙂

The A Grade winner went to Ken Little with a fine score of 39 points, who just managed to beat Ryan Cassin on a count-back. The saviour for Ken was his one-over par 23 points on the back nine (holes 10-18). Solid irons and good putting was the mainstay of his game. His grip on the A-Grade birdie competition was almost araldite tight with another two birdies today 🙂

 

 

 

 

The B Grade winner went to one of Revesby’s most prolific podium visitors this year, Louis Tasaico, with a good score of 37 points (on a count-back from Wayne Higgs). This is Louis’ eighth visit to the winners podium so far (Paul Dawkins is outright podium visitor with 15 good and bad visits), and he has proven to be one of the best all-round players we have, with victories in all formats, be it individual, 2BBB or Ambrose.

An ideal partner to have in a team event, if his contract goes on the open market, I’m sure there will be a few shaky partners (in more ways than one) being handed their divorce papers – well done Louis 🙂

The C Grade winner was deservedly earnt by John McDonald with a good score of 37 points. A tough course cracked by a tough cookie, just angled his way around the course and baited the ball into the hole – the putting rod must have been smoking today – go out and celebrate your win, put on your leather jacket and be a king fish for the day 🙂

 

 

 

 

The Guzzler’s Cup went to a rampaging express train on a mission to win the Leaderboard points score for 2015. Yep, Von Ryan Cassin has shelved the Assassin rifle and brought out the howitzer mounted on an armoured train in his endeavour to take out the prize. In doing so, he has also taken out the Guzzler’s Cup with an impressive score of 39 points.

Blowing away all pretend challengers over the last two rounds, Ryan can safely relax and enjoy the last competition round at Hurstville knowing he cannot be touched. Congratulations Ryan on not just a fine round, but a terrific year of golfing 🙂

The Bradmans went to players who have a pre-disposition to gravitate to this award without trying too hard.

George Lattouf fell from grace with bad putting with his new putter (well, its probably his 5th putter over the last month or two) 🙁

Kila mockingbird feasted on too many lamb shanks today 🙁

An injured right hand left Alan Tricker with a swollen score thumb 🙁

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Bravo Zulus must go to all players from Goulburn Workers and Revesby Workers for showing up to represent their club today and for the good spirit and friendliness they exhibited both on and off the course.

Many thanks to the Captains, Presidents and social committees of both clubs for organising the event, and special kudos to Revesby’s President, John Varrica,  for the wonderful lunch had by all, it was a great day 🙂

A big thank you must also go to the management and staff of Bankstown Golf Club for the great course, food and service which ensured  a very enjoyable and successful event.

Until we meet again for the next challenge, just remember Rossco’s favourite saying – “Pigs F@#king Arse they’ll leave it in Sydney” 🙂

PIGS ARSE CHALLENGE Results:
Revesby Workers (avg 31.269 pts) defeated Goulburn Workers (avg 29.666 pts)

Goulburn Individual Results:
Winner: Ray Grant [19] 37 pts
Runners-Up: Tom Hazelton [21] 36 pts

Revesby Individual Results:
Outright Winner: Evan Gray [14] 42 pts
A Grade Winner: Ken Little [13] 39 pts c/b
B Grade Winner: Louis Tasaico [21] 37 pts c/b
C Grade Winner: John McDonald [29] 37 pts
Guzzlers: Ryan Cassin [16] 39 pts

BRADMANs:A Grade: George Lattouf [13] 29 pts-B Grade: Phil Kilazoglou[19] 24 pts-C Grade: Alan Tricker [40] 16 pts

Nearest To Pins: S.Thorn(3), C.Poletti(7), Ray Grant(11)-G,L.Tasaico(13), K.Little(15)

Drive & Pitch: J.Varrica(5)

Goulburn Individual Results:
Ray Grant 37
Tom Hazelton 36
Craig Brown 35
Peter Freebody 34
Ray Miller 33
Nathan Townsend 31
Daryl Robertson 31

Gary Privett 30
Greg Robertson 28
Tim James 28
Martin Hunter 28
Peter Tozer 28
Graham Taylor 26
Terry Druett 23
Adrian Hazelton 17

Revesby Individual results:
Evan Gray 42
Ken Little 39
Ryan Cassin 39
Louis Tasaico 37
John McDonald 37
Wayne Higgs 37
Shane Thorn 36

Ryan Johnston 35
John Varrica 33
Claude Poletti 33
Noel Connolly 33
Ian Lindberg 32
Rossco Hamer 31
Steve Floyd 31

Steve Vaughn 30
George Lattouf 29
Gary McMahon 29
Matt Campbell 29
Mark McDonald 28
Jeff Hilder 28
George Osterman 27

Steph Suzor 27
Ken Harris 26
Paul Dawkins 25
Phil Kilazoglou 24
Alan Tricker 16